Do Cats Hold Grudges?

Many cat parents have experienced the cold shoulder from their feline friend after a trip to the vet or an unexpected bath.  And afterward, our cats seem to be angry or shy away from us. Therefore, it begs the question: Do cats hold grudges?  

While it may seem like your cat is plotting revenge for your latest offense, the answer is more complex and multifaceted than it appears.

How Cats Process Negative Experiences

When trying to understand if cats hold grudges, it helps to look at how they process negative experiences. Unlike humans, cats don’t rationalize or obsess over past events. However, they do have powerful associative memories. If something causes them pain, fear, or discomfort, they can remember it as well as the person or place associated with it, for a long time.

So, do cats hold grudges in the same way humans do? Not exactly. Grudges, by definition, require a level of emotional complexity that includes harboring resentment over time. While cats don’t ruminate on wrongdoings the way people do, they do learn from unpleasant experiences and may act wary or avoidant around the source of their discomfort.

Memory and Recognition in Cats

Cats have both short-term and long-term memory. Their short-term memory helps them with daily tasks, like remembering where their food bowl is or which window gets the best sunlight. Long-term memory, however, allows them to recognize people and experiences that left a strong emotional impression.

If your cat had a frightening encounter, such as being accidentally stepped on, your cat might avoid your feet or become cautious when you’re walking near him other. This isn’t a grudge in the human sense, but rather a protective response rooted in memory. Therefore, when you wonder, “Do cats hold grudges against their owners?”, the better question might be: Do cats remember unpleasant events and act accordingly? The answer is yes.

Do Cats Forgive?

Cats aren’t quick to forget, or forgive, if they feel betrayed or scared. If you’ve done something that spooked your cat, it make take some time for your cat to come around. This standoffish behavior can appear grudge-like, but it’s often just your cat trying to recalibrate his sense of safety around you. Dogs tend to forgive us quickly and don’t hold grudges.  

Building trust back takes time and patience. Gentle petting, treats, and consistent positive interactions can reassure your cat that you’re not a threat. Over time, most cats will relax and return to their affectionate selves. Which leads us to believe that while cats may not hold grudges, they do have strong emotional memories that influence their behavior.

How Can You Regain a Cat’s Trust

If you think your cat is giving you the cold shoulder after a negative incident, don’t force affection.

Instead, try these tips to win back their trust:

Give your cat space: Let your cat come to you or out of hiding on his own terms.

Offer treats and toys: Positive reinforcement with their favorite treats or toys goes a long way.

Speak softly: When you use a calm, gentle voice, it helps soothe a cautious cat.

Avoid repeating stressful actions: If your cat hates being picked up, don’t insist on doing it.

Do Cats Hold Grudges Against Other Pets?

Just as cats remember people, they can also remember altercations with other pets. If there’s been a fight between your cat and another animal in the house, don’t be surprised if your cat stays distant or hiss for a while afterward.

Again, this isn’t necessarily a grudge. It’s your cat trying to avoid a repeat of a stressful event. Slowly reintroducing pets and using scent swapping (like sharing blankets or toys between them) can help ease tensions and prevent long-term avoidance behaviors.

Do Cats Hold Grudges After You Leave Them Alone?

Some cats seem to "punish" us after we return from a vacation or even a long workday. You might come home to a cat that turns his back on you, avoids eye contact, or hides. But rather than a grudge, this is usually a reaction to stress or separation anxiety.

Cats thrive on routine. When their person disappears unexpectedly, it can cause anxiety. Upon return, they may act distant to communicate their distress, or simply because they don’t know what to expect. In time, they usually readjust to your presence. Some cats, on the other hand, are really excited to see us when we return and become needy and happy.

Do Cats Get Angry?

Yes, cats can experience emotions similar to anger, though it's typically more about fear, frustration, or overstimulation. When a cat feels threatened, cornered, or annoyed, it may hiss, swat, or lash out. These reactions can look like anger, but they're usually defensive responses rather than acts of revenge.

Final Thoughts: Do Cats Hold Grudges?

Cats tend not to hold grudges in the emotional, human sense of the word. But they do remember negative experiences, and those memories can shape their behavior. If your cat seems to be holding a grudge, it’s more likely they’re responding to past discomfort and acting cautiously to avoid it happening again.